Princess Half Marathon. This trip was such an important event for me on a variety of levels and I am so glad that I took the time to make it happen.
On Saturday I celebrated my 35th Birthday, in Disney, as a princess. That in and of itself was awesome. I love my birthday. It's a symbol of a new year, new adventures and excitement over the future. The past few years have not been filled with that. But this year was different. My situation this year is different. I am different. This year my birthday felt like a turning point, and being away, on my own, at Disney accomplishing a major life event, was symbolic.
My birthday and the new year it signifies started off full of adventure, independence and confidence. I am not the woman I was last year. I am strong, physically and emotionally. I'm okay... No I'm more than okay. Im loving my life. I am doing things I never thought I could, and doing them well. I am proud of myself and that personal feeling of satisfaction is enough. I'm doing it for me, not for anyone else, or for anyone's approval.
It seems like my journey through grief has hit a major turning point. While I feel it, I dont entirely know what it means. I do know that I am a survivor. The hardest days are behind me. The moments of "no one is here" are gone. Because no one has to be here, I'm here and I'm happy and that's all that matters. I can celebrate on my own, or with strangers and I don't feel like anything is missing in my life anymore. It's a freeing feeling. If this past weekend was any indication of the road I'm on and the course this next year will take, I am ready!
