Forget

I was running not long ago, along a very hilly path.  Its amazing the analogies and life lessons that God shows to me while I am running.  I ran 8 miles this particular run, and it was a very hilly path I selected.  Hills are hard when you run, even if you slow down your pace, the amount of energy you use to climb the hill greatly increases.  Once you hit the peak, and start the slow decline, you body starts to move faster and works less.  Coasting down helps alleviate the strain you felt climbing the hill.  And that is when this miracle happens.  God has given us this amazing ability to forget.  When I run I forget the intensity of the hills, as I coast down the other side. I begin to recover.  And as I recover I rebuild strength to take on the next hill.  God helps us to forget.  We forget the intensity, the risk and the pain.

We had a heat wave hit Michigan in mid-March, and since I am training for a half marathon I took advantage of the gorgeous weather for a long run.  My task: 9 miles.  The weather: 80 and sunny.  I was completely ignorant as I left my house for my 9 mile run in the sun.  After 2 miles I was getting tired and took a walk break.  The walk breaks increased and by 4.5 miles I knew I couldn't complete this run.  I was in trouble.  It was HOT! I was sweaty, exhausted and almost out of water.  I was walking more than I was running.  My body just wasn't ready for this hot weather, and it wasn't able to exert the normal energy level it had under colder circumstances.  By 6.5 miles I felt I had nothing left to give and better stop.  I was concerned I may pass out if I continued to push myself. I refer to this run as the "death run".  It really was that bad.

But God helps us forget.  A few days later, with colder weather, and less sun, I set out again for a 9 mile run.  I had forgotten the pain. I had forgotten the impossibility I felt that day.  I forgot, and here I was willing to try it again.

I can't explain my experience of relationships, marriage and widowhood any better than this example.  My relationship with my husband was far from healthy.  Our marriage was less than perfect, and in the end horribly difficult and impossible.  I was hurt, taken advantage of, betrayed, and left crushed, broken and hopeless.  When he died I was left unresolved and confused.   It has been painful, and frustrating.   But as time passes, the impact of the pain I experienced lessens.  My memory of it fades.  Its almost as if it was a movie I watched, and not a life that I lived.  The emotions of it become more and more distant, and all that remains is the facts, the story which I tell.

I thank God that he helps us forget.  Who wants to carry the pain day after day, month after month, in the same intensity as which you first experienced it? What would life look like if we remembered every detail? I wouldn't take the risk to live life again.  I would live in fear.  I would never trust another man with my heart and my life, for fear he may destroy it.  But God helps us forget.  As we continue running down the path of life.  We face each new hill with a fresh perspective, a renewed energy.  We find joy in coasting down the other side. We don't let the "death runs" of life stop us from lacing up our shoes and setting out on new adventures.  We learn to enjoy life and live again!  All because God helps us forget.

Not Until You Have Run that Path

It's amazing how flat a path looks, until you run it!  I look for new running paths all the time while I'm driving and recently decided to try a new one.  It looked flat, which was very appealing for the last leg of my route.  So I tried it, and what appeared to be easy and flat from the comfort of my car, was actually a very long and subtle incline.  I thought I had picked the easy route but ended up with a giant, never ending hill.  Its all about perspective. Let me just add that I was also pushing my 30 pound son in a stroller with the wind blowing against me the whole time.  What a great work out it turned out to be, but it wasn't at all what I expected.

How often have we in life made judgements on someone or something, from our comfortable and slightly removed positions?  We assume someone is making the wrong choice.  Or we don't understand why they are struggling because what they are doing appears to be so easy.  But it isn't until we park our car, strap on our running shoes, and run their path that we can truly understand.  We judge the woman as weak who reconciles with her cheating husband; or if she leaves we criticize her for not giving God the opportunity to heal.  We call a single mother a bad parent when she gives in to her child in the grocery store.  To those with substance abuse issues we question why they just don't stop; after all can't they see they are destroying their life?  And God forbid someone file for a divorce... we question how they could do such a horrible thing to their children.

Perhaps you haven't run any of those paths.  Thank God!  Literally, thank God that you haven't felt the pain, the hurt, and the wind blowing against you.  But I have!  And I encountered some serious judgement from other Christians: leadership, friends, and family.  While many of them didn't ever say their disapproval of my choices, they didn't need to.  Here I was running up this long and steady incline, wind blowing against me, pushing a stroller after running 4 miles already, and from the SUV, driving on cruise control, on the road I hear: "Run faster!  Can't you see how easy and flat it is?"  It doesn't make sense does it?

So I challenge you today.  Before you assume to know what you would do in a situation, before you judge a fellow Christian's decisions, stop! Pray for them.  Likely there is something you don't see.  I couldn't see that incline from the road- but it was there! And it wasn't until I ran that path that I understood.

With the path's I've run in life,  I've experienced more than one woman should ever have to.  But I find hope in this: I can strap on my shoes, and run along side a sister in Christ.  I can be her listening ear.  I can give her encouragement, because I know how hard the hill is she is climbing. I'm excited to see God open doors for me to share my story in an even greater and more personal way.  Why?  Because if life has happened to you, and you find yourself pushing up that hill, I want to be there and run it with you!