What Really Matters

God is bringing me to a place of simplicity.  After living through the tragedy of burying a husband, you would think I would have already figured out what really matters in life.  I believe that experience did impact my life.  It changed me.  I realized I needed to spend my time better. I made major life decisions, such as leaving teaching to raise my son.  But along the way I began to hold onto "things", because they were all I had.  My marriage, my life had fallen apart.  My needs were neglected and left unmet, so I clung to those things that were there, our material possessions.  I didn't have a happy marriage, a peaceful life, but I had my house, and my beautiful belongings to fill it.

Over the last few months God has been stripping me.  He has been stripping me of pride, and making me humble.  He has been stripping me of my status, which I derived from the quality of my house, and making me find my status in him.  He has stripped away my debt, and made me financially stable.  He has stripped me.

This past week God has challenged me even further.  He has taken me out of my comfort zone and showed me what really matters.  Sometimes being displaced causes you to really question what you want, what you really need and where you want to be.  I have had many preconceived ideas about what I need to be happy.  Don't all young women dream about having a beautiful wedding, while giving no thought to the marriage?  We select our dream house on our commute to work, but have no concept of the effect of that mortgage on a family's finances.  In this season I've discovered what I think I need, and what God knows I need are two very different things.

What really matters?  What really matters for me? Its not the house, or the location.  Its the people that fill it.  I was empty and neglected.  I was betrayed and manipulated.  I was left broken, shattered, and hungry for love.  What really matters to me? Its not about provision, paying the bills, or fitting into my nice little life.  What really matters is someone who truly loves me and is able to show it.  What really matters is someone who will receive the love I have to give.  What really matters is someone who I can enjoy life with.  What really matters is a relationship where we see each other for the gift we are, and encourage each other.  

What really matters for my son?  My son had a great dad.  He would come home and play with him for hours.  He was firm when needed and loving at the same time.  What really matters to my son?  Its not the gifts someone brings.  Its not being in a certain community over others.  What really matters to my son is a man who can love him as his own.  A man who can be firm when he needs it, but also through him on his shoulders just for fun.  What really matters is a family he can be a part of, siblings he can play with.  What really matters is a man who can model how to be a man of God, and help me raise him to love Jesus above all else.

So often we are encouraged to decided what WE want, put a vision in our minds of the life WE desire.  We carefully list, plan and determine our perfect life!  And those things aren't necessarily bad.  But remember that God knows us better than we know ourselves.  He has a plan and a purpose.  He knows those small details that can take our life from average to awesome!  Be willing to put your vision aside, set down your preconceived ideas, and give room to God to rebuild your life.  He knows what really matters for you and your family and He has every intention of giving that amazing life to you!