New Traditions: Halloween

Last year this time, my late husband was so excited about taking our son Trick or Treating for the first time!  We had always been very hesitant to celebrate the holiday, due to the overwhelmingly "evil" tendencies it had.  But Jonathan decided Halloween 2010 was the year, we were going to join our American culture and trick or treat.  It was going to be just the boys.  Unfortunately Jonathan was in the hospital on Halloween and despite his begging, wasn't released until the next day.  Yet another one of our son's milestones that he had missed due to his issues.

I've been so mindful of that entire situation as Halloween has been approaching.  Remembering how Jonathan was going to take him for the first time, and wondering what I should do.  My son has been so excited for months about Halloween.  He learned about it from one of his children's shows, and even role played trick or treating long before I ever introduced it to him.  So I knew this year there was no escaping it. Yes, for certain this year our family was officially celebrating Halloween!

So last night I dressed up my son in his Buzz Light Year costume, and we hit the streets.  Just me and my boy.  As we walked down the lamp lit street, my son in my arms, I could hear our theme song playing in my head.  "Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, Just the two of us... you and I" (Yes we actually have a theme song! Just the Two of Us, by Will Smith)   Here it was another event, another holiday, another milestone Daddy was missing.  But this year there is no saying he'll be there next time.  Daddy is gone, and until God sees fit to bring a new Daddy into my son's life, the father figure is going to be lacking.  Its a feeling you think you'll get used to, but you never do.

 My son and I are blazing a trail, through the desert of life, just the two of us.   Its a beautiful opportunity that most people don't have, and one that I almost feel guilty appreciating; we are creating new family traditions. We get to decide what we want our life, holidays and events to be.  And if we don't like it, we can change it.  Life isn't the same, it never will be.  But a new normal is being molded, each and every day.

Last night we started a new family tradition: Trick or Treating.  I spent a wonderful evening with my son: quality time talking, walking, and laughing.  He said some of the cutest, and odd, things tonight.  He had a wonderful time meeting people, getting candy, and being adorable.  And I drank in every moment.  I'm grateful I was there. I'm grateful I got to experience the fullness of my son's first Halloween.  Most of all I'm grateful that God has given us a new start.  Life really can be full of joy and excitement; beautiful new experiences which overshadow the negative realities of the past.  That's God's miracle power of healing.