Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I have met many widows since joining. A variety of women with a variety of stories. Widows who lost their husbands unexpectedly, in their 40s, from a heart condition they didn't know he had. Widows who lost their husband after 25 years of marriage from a sickness. I've met widows who have been single now for many years, and widows who met and fell in love again in just a few years. There is not a cookie cutter path which got us here, and there is not a cookie cutter path to lead us out.
While running a race this past weekend I met a widow, in her 50s, who had been widowed for 9 years. What she said impacted me greatly. "I have dark days. I still hit bottom." Bottom...Nine years later? I was in awe. I know a part of me will always love Jonathan. He will always be a part of my life, as he was a part of my past. He made me who I am today, through the good and bad times, he helped shape me. But I don't have dark days anymore. I don't hit bottom anymore. Why? Why don't I struggle 17 months later the way this woman continues to struggle? Is it because of our relationship and its problems? Is it because of the freedom I found from his addictions? Why don't I struggle? The answer is obvious. Its simple. Its one word, one name, above every name... Jesus!