I was blessed to stay home with my son for the first 18 months. I loved being home. I joined clubs with other stay at home moms, and Gabe and I had play dates. We also had the opportunity to care for my father as he suffered with cancer. It was a great season. Then life happened. Finances changed and the security I once had in my marriage vanished. I had to go back to work, no matter how hard it was. So I began the world of part time employment.
It seems ideal on the outside: I get to work and I get to spend time with my son. But it wasn't ideal. I was trapped between two worlds: working mom, and stay at home mom. I didn't fit in with either. I continued to give my all at work, even though it was only a half day. And by the time I came home I was exhausted, my son was having nap time, and I still had all the responsibilities of a stay at home mom. After all I "only" worked part time, I should be able to clean the house, plan meals, pay bills, grocery shop, cook dinner, and spend quality time with my son. All in the extra 3 hours each day. It was some what of a nightmare. I loved the fact that I had more time with my son, but the exhaustion and extra responsibilities that a full time working mom doesn't carry, seemed to out weigh the benefits.
That's where I've come from, thats been my life for the past 4 years. The challenges I faced reveal to me how wonderful and balanced my life is now. My working life and my stay at home mom life are very clearly divided. I travel 3 hours away, a few days every other week for work. So when I am gone, my soul focus, my only task is work. I can work late, I don't have to cook dinner, or worry about kid's homework. On the contrast when I am home, I'm home. I still work but its in a home office, on my own schedule, and no one is home during the day. I am able to organize my day to take care of my family: laundry, groceries, meals, etc. I end it at 2 each day, so that I am focused and ready to pick up my 3 kids. I find such a strange joy in picking them up from school each day. And when we get home, we have a snack, and start homework. I'm single minded, so I am able to provide structure for them and give them my full attention. I have flexibility to volunteer in my son's class, attend field trips and just be around. I still get to use my mind, and challenge myself through work, but also focus 100% on my family when they walk through the door. Its the life I've always dreamed of!
I may not be superwoman, but I AM supermom! But not in the way I once thought. I'm not a mom who does everything. I pick and choose. I prioritize. I am supermom, because I am a good mom. My family knows they are my priority and they feel my love. And that is what makes me supermom!