Monday, November 14, 2011

The Call Detroit

This past weekend over 35,000 Christians came to Ford Field in Detroit for a 24 hour fast and prayer meeting.  Despite my intense desire, I was very hesitant to go .  God has been helping me to understand my limitations, which are so different now as a single widowed mom.  I tend to act on my past capacity, and think I can handle much more than I can.  I commit, and I overbook myself.  Then I am drained, tired, and full of regret.  It happens enough times, and you begin to hear God's voice saying, "did you ask me about this?"

As The Call approached I knew I wanted to participate but I didn't want to over do it.  I was sensitive to the fact that I need to have enough energy left after the event to parent my son.  I knew it would be best to go just Friday evening. It was a hard decision, and I used a lot of restrain to stick to that commitment.

Another journey of the "alone" season began, as I hopped in my car and headed down to Detroit, all on my own.  Another big task. I'm a suburbs kind of girl, not used to the city, and I hardly ever go down there, even with someone.  I basically had never been to Ford Field and didn't have much clue where I was going beyond simple directions from a friend.  Just like every time God has led me to take a step, He was there to meet me.  And on my own I drove into Detroit, parked and walked 3 blocks to Ford Field.  Yes! A victory! I conquered that dependency giant.

God is developing an independency in me that I've never experienced before.  I'm pulling back from my dependency on others, whether it be a husband, or a friend, and I'm becoming independent of people.  The more independent I become, the more dependent on God I really am.  As I pull away from other's support, help, guidance, I learn to trust more and more in God.  And he meets me each step of the way.

It was best said by the stranger who stood next to me at The Call, "Your here alone?  Your so brave!"  Funny I never saw it like that. Its just become my life: doing everything on my own.  No longer does the in availability of a friend stop me from doing what I desire to do.  I not only drove to The Call alone, but I spent 6 hours there by myself, just enjoying God.  And I find that I am actually free to worship Him more sincerely when I'm on my own.  At the beginning of my blogging journey I dreaded being alone, but I have now come to embrace it and enjoy it.

God did several things in me during this fast and prayer meeting.  First of all, He made a way for me to return to the call for another 7 hours on Saturday. Which of course meant I had to drive down to Detroit alone, again. I even got lost twice on my way home in the city.  And I survived! While at the meeting God  spoke several things to my heart.  He reassured me that His promise for me still is true regarding my future and that I can trust Him!  Finally, He confirmed the private details He's been showing me about my calling from the platform through a nationally know minister.

Once again, the adventures of my weekend drove me deeper into my sole dependency on God.  It showed me what I'm made of, and how with God all things are possible.  Yes this girl who was once afraid to stay home alone overnight, is now facing the dependency giant, and slaying it!  God is giving me opportunity to face every intimidation, and empowering me to conquer. Nothing will have a hold on me!

2 comments:

  1. I know get exactly what you are saying for I did something alone as a widow myself for the very first time in my life (at age 59). I drove to the mountains and stayed in a cabin for 4 days. I, too, was afraid to ever stay alone overnight. Now I have no choice and am doing it. It's surprising to me what I can do alone.

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  2. I remember you saying you were doing that, and I've been wondering how it went. I'm so proud of you for making that step! Isn't it amazing how when we step out, even scared, God is right there waiting to help us?

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