Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I am Free!

"I'm free to run! 
I'm free to dance!
I'm free to live for you!
I am free!"

We sang this song at church yesterday morning and it is by far my favorite praise song.  When I sing those words, the reality of their truth in my life causes me to worship with such an extravagant joy.  One year ago I couldn't say that I was free.  And I hadn't been free for some time.  I had lived in a the midst of bondage, but I wasn't the one bound.  I was encompassed by darkness, even though I am the light.

I didn't realize how oppressed I was until I experience the freedom.  When I returned home after burying my husband the atmosphere in my home felt different.  It was lighter, it was thinner.  When I prayed, I connected with God in a way I longed to.  When I read the Bible I received amazing understanding, as if Jesus himself was talking on the phone with me.  And that struggle I had felt to maintain a deep prayer life and intimate connection with God was gone.  Prayer was easy.  Being diligent to read the Word was easy.  Worshipping was easy.

What happened?  I was under my husband's covering.  And because of the struggles he had, I was effected.  He brought a spiritual oppression into our home.  He was bound in chains of addiction, hate, and self-destruction.  And its presence in our home brought a spiritual resistance to my walk. Even though I was faithful to follow God, and continued walking in His ways, and seeking Him daily, it was a constant struggle.  It was never easy.  And I never gave up.

I didn't understand why my walk was so hard.  I always wondered what was wrong with me.  But it wasn't until after my late husband died, that I understood.  That oppression dissipated.  It left.  The freedom was indescribable and it was only after time that God revealed to me why I experienced the oppression and then the freedom.

So when I sing, "I'm free to run. I'm free to dance. I'm free to live for you. I am free!" This is what I think of.  I think how I was once bound even in my own home.  I reflect on how I wasn't free to dance before God.  I wasn't free to live for God.  I was facing a resistance in the spiritual realm.  And I was limited by my late husband's attitudes.  I couldn't dance.  I couldn't live for God the way I wanted to.

"But if the son has set you free, you are free indeed!"  I have been set free from the oppression. I'm free to live my life for God.  I'm free to worship Him as I feel necessary.  I'm free to fulfill my calling.  I am free!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jennifer,

    I found your blog by looking for a picture for my page :) How inspiring, thanks for sharing your journey!

    Where did you get the two photos from on this site? I would love to use one or both, would that be possible?

    Wishing you to live in the freedom of running and dancing forever more!

    Blessings, Carmen