I didn't realize how oppressed I was until I experience the freedom. When I returned home after burying my husband the atmosphere in my home felt different. It was lighter, it was thinner. When I prayed, I connected with God in a way I longed to. When I read the Bible I received amazing understanding, as if Jesus himself was talking on the phone with me. And that struggle I had felt to maintain a deep prayer life and intimate connection with God was gone. Prayer was easy. Being diligent to read the Word was easy. Worshipping was easy.
What happened? I was under my husband's covering. And because of the struggles he had, I was effected. He brought a spiritual oppression into our home. He was bound in chains of addiction, hate, and self-destruction. And its presence in our home brought a spiritual resistance to my walk. Even though I was faithful to follow God, and continued walking in His ways, and seeking Him daily, it was a constant struggle. It was never easy. And I never gave up.
I didn't understand why my walk was so hard. I always wondered what was wrong with me. But it wasn't until after my late husband died, that I understood. That oppression dissipated. It left. The freedom was indescribable and it was only after time that God revealed to me why I experienced the oppression and then the freedom.
"But if the son has set you free, you are free indeed!" I have been set free from the oppression. I'm free to live my life for God. I'm free to worship Him as I feel necessary. I'm free to fulfill my calling. I am free!