Friday, January 27, 2012


Sitting in class today my pastor shared an insight, which perhaps he thought to be a very random bunny trail.  However that couldn't be farther from the truth.  The words he spoke, which came from his personal prayer time, where like heaven speaking directly to me  If the clouds could have parted and God spoke to me, I believe this is exactly what He would have said to me.

Since becoming a widow I have often looked at Ruth as my hero, my model. I relate so much to her that I named this blog after her.  But Naomi who is also a widow, I have overlooked.  My pastor shared how Naomi left the land of Judah during a famine, hard times, and went to a foreign country called Moab.  While there her sons married Moabite women, which was against the Jewish law. During their time in Moab, Naomi's husband and both sons died.  When she heard report that things had turned around in Judah, she journeyed back.  She said "I went out full, but the Lord has brought me home again empty" (Ruth 1:21).

I have been struggling recently with a decision.  I believe God is prompting me to give up the last of my possessions: my house.  It is a very hard thing for me.  I truly love my house.  I have told several people that my house is all I have left.  That because of the issues present in my family before my late husband's passing, I had lost everything I dreamed of.  And this house, my dream house, was all that remained.  Not to mention all the belongings I have to fill it.  Intellectually and financially it makes sense to down size, but my heart is struggling with this decision.

So as I hear these words of Naomi's in class, I started to cry.  I can relate to what she has experienced, and the impact of her words are a sobering truth.  I left the land of Judah full, and I have been wandering in this foreign land of Moab, where I have encountered hardships, trials and loss, just as Naomi did.  And now the time has come.  God is calling me back to Judah, back to the land where He has a promise for me.  Back to the place where His hand is stretched out to give blessing.  But am I willing to meet the requirement to come back empty?

Naomi returned to Judah and what ensued was a blessing no man could have conjured, or even predicted.  By the means of her daughter in law, Ruth, Naomi is restored.  She is given a family, and provided for.  She experiences a blessing far greater than if she had stayed in Moab.  Her decedents included King David, and Jesus!

As I ponder Naomi's story I realize God is calling me to come back to Him, empty.  To close the door on my time in Moab, leave it all behind and let Him create a new story from my life.  He is asking me, "Jenn, will you follow me?  Will you give up all that you have, all your possessions?  Will you serve me?  Or will you worship your house; your mark of achievement?  Chose today who you will serve, your house or the one true God who has a much greater end in sight for you than you can imagine."

I went out full, but the Lord has called me to return to Him empty.  And I will gladly give up all I have to follow Him.


  1. Jenn, when my husband went to heaven, we owned 2 homes and almost 14 acres of land out in the country right next door to each other. One home was ours and one was where my parents' lived. We had enjoyed living next door to each other for 22 years. I knew I had to give up both homes because I couldn't take care of everything alone (I lost my husband and both parents in 4 months' times). I, too, felt like I lost everything.

    But God had another home in mind for me - a brand new one that had been sitting empty and unsold for an entire year. It is full of lots and lots of natural light which I crave and very much need. Even though it is in town, the view out my back windows and patio doors is nothing but trees which gives me that feel of still being out in the country. The neighborhood is very quiet. It has become my refuge in this grief journey.

    Packing all of our belongings, going through all of my husband's things in both garages and selling them or giving them away,and letting everything go including life as I had known it for so long was terribly hard and heart breaking, but I can say now almost 2 years later that God gave me something better.

  2. Candy, Thank you so much for your comment. I know deep in my heart this destiny awaits me too. Getting there is the hard part. I am encouraged by what you shared. Thank you for supporting me through this!